Monday, March 23, 2009

Perfect Moment Monday

Perfect Moment Monday


Child mentioned.....

I have never done this before, so bare with me if I do it wrong. Sorry!

The perfect moment that I want to discuss was a collection of moments last wednesday. Last Wednesday was the first day that I felt completely productive working from home since I returned from maternity leave. I work from home with my little zerker two days a week. For the first two weeks it felt like I just couldn't focus. I think it had to do with being home for two months and not associating what I do at home with what I do at work. I was used to watching Ellen at 11am, not being on a conference call! And how could I do research online when there are so many blogs to keep up with! I was starting to get worried - because I really want to be productive when I am at home so I do not loose the opportunity to do it...if I am not productive then I would have to admit that I needed to be in the office and loose the privilege...

I had been working on a specifications document for a few weeks and it was the first day when I finally felt like it clicked...that I was able to focus on what I get paid to do. And what made it even more perfect was that my little girl was there cooing and babbling and sleeping the whole time.
It helped me to feel more like myself, or more like my old self pre-zerker...but that isn't quite right either...it helped me feel more like this new person I am becoming. This new person that does all sorts of cool things and gets to share it with the coolest little person she has ever met and her wonderful husband...
I never realized I had formed opinions about what a mommy was. We wanted a child so badly, but we were so focused on getting pregnant that I didn't think a lot about what having a kid would do to my sense of self. And then when we finally got pregnant, I started really thinking about it. It was hard for me to see myself as a mommy...

Now I see myself as a mommy, but not as my stereotype of a mommy. I see myself as the mother I really am...and i think it is k*ck*ss. (not so mommy-like talk there....lol)

and it includes someone who writes k*ck*ss technical specifications while changing diapers and making a baby babble and coo...

and that was my perfect moment...

I know my sense of self will continue to change, and that I will sometimes be overwhelmed with all there is in the world, as long as I get a few smiles and giggles, I think I will be alright.

4 comments:

Lori said...

This is a PERFECT perfect moment. So glad you posted it.

I love how you are emerging, changing, coming into your own, encompassing your old and your new lives. And you are AWARE that you are doing so.

And I completely get the challenge of focus!

Again, welcome!

Martha said...

What a wonderful perfect moment, thanks for sharing.
I can relate to this as I work part time from home also.
Visiting from Lori's blog.

Peeveme said...

You are kick*ass. No way could I get work done while at home. Pretty awesome.

sara said...

Over from Lost and Found...just wanted to say hi and that your little one is gorgeous! Yes I agree with Peeveme...I would get nothing done at home, you are amazing!